I went to Nathan’s Parent-Teacher Conference last night. It turns out, Nathan still has those little tantrums that he always did at school, but they’re just not as bad or as often. They haven’t bothered to keep me up to date on them. I guess they feel that as long as they can deal with it, it wasn’t important to tell me it was happening.The teacher told me that Nathan has some communication issues that strongly concern her. She says she will sometimes ask him a question, and he completely freezes up. He won’t answer her, not a word. I’ve seen him do this. It’s as though he has an on/off switch, and someone just shut him off. She tried to do the state required testing (No Child Left Behind), which included having the kids read a section of a non-fiction book, and then ask them several questions. Nathan wouldn’t answer any of them. So he tests out way low on this, even though she knows he is a very fluent reader.She also expressed concern about the fact that he has strong sensory issues. She said he really reacts strongly if you touch him. He is also sensitive to loud noise. (She didn’t know this, but he is also incredibly sensitive to light. I wake him up by turning up a light dimmer. I don’t have to speak to him – the increase in light wakes him up.)The teacher wants to have him tested to see what is causing the inability to communicate, and the sensory issues. I expressed some reticence about calling in the school psychologist. If you recall, it was the school psychologist that made me feel like everyone saw Nathan as an evil child, defective, one lacking in conscience and the ability to feel remorse. He was the last person I wanted anywhere near my child. The teacher said yes, that this was the same guy who would conduct the tests on Nathan, though she would be there with him, a part of the whole process. I started crying. I tried to explain to her how he viewed my son, how he saw me as “in denial” and a hindrance to Nathan’s needs being met, and that with this psychologist’s involvement Nathan was much worse, and spinning out of control. I told her I would bring him to a private doctor, if only we could afford it right now, but I really did not want that school psychologist involved with my son again.Fortunately, the teacher immediately responded that it would be in Nathan’s best interest to request another psychologist to do the testing. I don’t know yet if this can be arranged, but she’s at least going to try. She did admit that she spoke briefly to the school psychologist, and that he confessed that “perhaps he had misjudged the situation” with my son. No shit.
Right now, I’m scared to death. I’m aching for my son, and I wish I had the tools to help him myself. There is talk of autism, and of learning disabilities, and my head is spinning. Through all of this, everyone is insisting that Nathan is very bright, and that this is what concerns them so much, that he is so much smarter than the school’s tests indicate. No kidding. I’ve been saying that for three years now. But the teacher says that this isn’t fair to Nathan, that his tests don’t reflect the true picture, that the tests indicate he is at a level far below where he really functions. In truth, I had hoped that as he matured, and gained more control over his emotions, that he would quickly and easily catch up in those grades. In reading, he is testing out lower right now than he tested in first grade, but he reads considerably better. He has tested out of second grade in his spelling and phonics (he’s already met the requirements for passing second grade), he was two points away from testing out of phonetic awareness, he tested out of primary spelling inventory, but scored a zero on extended written response and two levels behind on running record (reading fluency). He’s also excellent in math, and in science. Nathan is very bright. I don’t know if he is “gifted” bright, but he is definitely above average. But because of his reading scores (or lack thereof), he is “progressing below grade level.” And this is expected to get worse, as third grade testing is going to be even more difficult.
I just want to cry. This all blindsided me. I knew he was testing low in reading, and I knew he reads better than that, but I didn’t expect the talk of learning disabilities and autism, and I wasn’t prepared to have to deal with that school psychologist again. On top of it all, I’ve been trying to find a job, and I’m scared that this will be detrimental to Nathan. But I really can’t afford not to work any longer. I don’t know what to do. A part of me wants to scoop up my baby and run away from all of these so called counselors, and head for the hills.
Posted by twin3rd 
Puzzled Ponderings 