Good News!

Mil has been doing better! Her vitals are good, all the numbers are where they are supposed to be. Kidney function seems to be reasonably good, good enough to take her off dialysis. They’re removing the dialysis port. Blood sugar good. She’s moving more, showing more strength. Coughing a lot, which is exhausting, but getting out the bad stuff, which is good.

Still having trouble breathing. Doc says it’s because of the colitis, that it’s pushing everything upward and pressuring her lungs. He says it’s just time on that one. Same goes for her talking.

They’re talking about pumping food directly into her stomach. Real food, not the IV. They want to get her stomach working. They say this will kick start her appetite. Oh, I hope so. She’s not eating at all.

They had her stand up today!! That’s the first time in at least three weeks. Excellent news! Of course, it was only a moment, but gotta start somewhere.

Her spirits are a little dampened. She’s frustrated. But she’s not giving up! That’s the best thing. As long as she’s hanging tough, the better her chances.

Still not out of the woods yet. (Geez, I’m tired of this neck of the woods! I can only imagine how tired she must be of it.) Still in critical condition, still in intensive care. But we’re getting a glimpse of daylight ahead.

Fading Away

I got a heartbreaking phonecall today. Dh called me at work, and told me “they don’t think she’s going to make it.”

I’ve spent all day at the hospital. We’re all devastated. The nurses say they’ve seen this before. She’s just fading away.

Her numbers are okay. Her white cell count has returned to normal. Her kidneys seem to be functioning okay – the number isn’t below one like they’d prefer, but it’s still well lower than it was, still below two, and seems to be functioning reasonably well. Blood pressure is good. Blood sugar is good.

But she’s worse. Much worse. She’s not really moving at all anymore. Her coloring is bad. Her voice wouldn’t qualify as a whisper. Her breathing is very labored. They may put her on a respirator.

The doctors say she is just so weak from fighting the infection. Like her body is just giving up. She seems to be emotionally giving up, too. She asked me to get her youngest son back here. (He had gone back home, when we thought she was improving.)

BIL is on his way. So is nephew. Maybe more. They’ll arrive in the middle of the night.

I’m reminded of other phone calls, long ago. Similar telephone conversations. The voiceless patient in the bed. The sterile equipment and people of the ICU unit. The helplessness. The same prayers. The same pain.

Part of me believes that she would make it if she would just have that will. At the moment, she doesn’t have it. Will she get it back, before it’s too late?

A Downturn

The news today was not so great. MIL’s white cell count has continued to drop. Now it is BELOW normal. That’s not good either. It could be because of the dialysis.

Her breathing is still quite labored. A resperator is still not out of the question. This too could be because of the dialysis.

She’s not eating much. While she seemed to have a better night, and dh stayed all night without any calls into her room after about 2am, she was struggling this morning. Another panic attack, probably brought on by her breathing troubles.

She’s not eating well today. Says she’s not hungry. She’s so tired, they aren’t even going to attempt to put her into a chair today. (They’ve been very insistant about it in the past.)

I’m hoping the day turns around some.

“To wish to be well is a part of becoming well.” -Seneca

Numbers Down

Got good news lately on MIL! Her white cell count is NORMAL! Woohoo! That’s really good news. That indicates that the infection is being brought under control. (The infectious colitis).

Her kidney numbers have also improved. I don’t know what the numbers are right now, but I know the docs are happy with them. (They were 2.2 a few days ago, so it’s below that.) They don’t have full kidney function yet, but there is significant improvement on that front.

The fluid that has built up in her body is now coming down. She has lost a lot of weight. The terrible swelling in her hands and arms is nearly gone. And she’s gaining movement in her arms and legs! She wasn’t able to lift a spoon to her mouth earlier this week, and now she can feed herself. (She doesn’t do it enough, but she can do it.)

The doctors want her to EAT. And sleep. She wasn’t doing much of either. However, today I heard she ate more than she has all week! Wonderful news! It’s not enough for a bird to live on, but it’s a great start and we were delighted to hear it.

She slept a lot today too. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. She needs sleep, big time. But the problem is, she’s not sleeping at night at all. And in the middle of the night, she gets panic attacks. Bad ones. We’re hoping she’ll start to get a bit of sleep at night, and maybe get past those panic attacks. That would help.

The c. diff. is still an issue. It’s not gone yet. I have no idea how long it takes for that to run it’s course or get under control. But I hope it’s soon.

And her breathing is still very labored at times. She’s getting breathing treatments every so many hours. They help. But it can get bad in between treatments. And she’s so weak she can hardly talk. Her voice is a whisper, and breathing and talking seem like too much effort. It really is disconcerting. I want to see this improve, and soon.

She’s still in critical condition. And she’s still in intensive care. But she is definately showing some signs of improvement, and I hope that soon is across the board. She made a true effort to eat today, and that’s wonderful. If she continues to fight back, we could soon see a big turnaround.

But overall, today is FAR better than a few days ago.

Bil and nephew left to go back home, at least for now. Sil is still here. Other sil might come down tomorrow, I’m not sure, but it would only be for the day. (Seems like a lot of driving for so little time here.)

Anyway, lots of good news this week. I’m hoping that trend continues…

Hair Today Gone Today

Well, I finally did it. I got my hair cut. It’s been ages since I’ve had it cut, and it was so grown out, out of shape, and just a mess. A friend has been encouraging me to go to her hairstylist, and I finally grabbed the phone and called.

I’m so glad I did. I usually have to cut my hair every 6-8 weeks, tops. It’s been well past that point. My hair grows fast, and it’s thick. And rather curly. (I know, my avatars don’t always display that, but there aren’t many grey hairstyles, and not many curly styles to choose from.)

I could only schedule an appointment during visiting hours, which was not ideal. But there was no getting around it if I wanted anything done in the near future.

Boy, did I need that. It was such a TREAT! The stylist was really good, and she really listened, and she did a terrific job. I’m delighted with the results. And I feel ten pounds lighter with all that mess hacked off. I think she swept up the makings of a small poodle from the floor. (And you wondered where those dogs come from, didn’t you.)

I even got approvals from dh and ds.

I walked out smiling. And it occurred to me that I haven’t really felt much like smiling lately. Even though things are looking up with MIL, I’m just so tired and stressed out that even when I do smile, it doesn’t actually feel all that happy. But today I felt Happy.

I told the friend that sent me there that I was considering having my nails done too. How utterly shocking. I’m not a girly girl. I’m more like one of the guys. I rarely wear makeup, perfume, and haven’t worn a dress in I don’t know how long. I use my fingernails like tools. But for some reason, I have been craving having my nails done! Silly, I know. Why should a girl who doesn’t dress up want to do her nails? I wonder if it’s a hormone thing, lol. Maybe as I’m getting older, my girly side is getting bolder.

My friend asked the nail tech at the salon if they do artwork on nails. You see, I confessed that I want to have puzzle pieces painted on my nails. (Big surprise there, huh?) To my delight, they said it would be ‘a piece of cake.’ Yay!

Isn’t this goofy? I’ve had one, count ‘em, ONE manicure in my whole life. I haven’t even worn nail polish in over a decade. And now, here I want to get acrylic nails, and have them painted with puzzle pieces. LOL! Somewhere there is a swine sprouting wings…

Maybe it’s just that I need pampering. I need to feel like a girl again. I’ve spent too much time in cold, sterile environments and I need to feel and see something pretty, if only just my nails.

I can’t believe I’m going to do this. It’s so out of character. I may not be able to schedule it for a few weeks, but I will get it done in the near future. Maybe I’ll even wear a little eye makeup tomorrow… (gasp!)

Giggles

Dh and I had been talking about how MIL was afraid of the dialysis, and believed that if they started that treatment that it would be the indication that this was ‘the end.’ No reassurances seemed to help, and she remained frightened and distraught. A friend suggested calling her church, and I thought that was a great idea. So I did.

When I arrived at the hospital, the pastor was there. My inlaws seemed really pleased to see him, and Dh’s aunt and uncle was pleased too. He blessed her and said a prayer, and talked for quite a while. I hope it helped her find some peace.

She was really worn out, and wanted to rest after I left, so we were all hanging out in the waiting room. My MIL’s ex-neighbor came to visit again. She’s a nurse, and has been very helpful to us, and helpful to my MIL too. She was going to leave to watch her son’s football practice, and asked if she could take ds with her. I jumped at the chance, because I think he’s spent far too much time in the hospital, and needed a little diversion. Her football son is ds’s age, and she has an older daughter and a younger son with her. Ds and the younger son, who shares his name, were having a blast. She said they’d be gone about an hour.

I was a nervous wreck, just turning him over to someone else, even for such a short amount of time. But I gave her my cell number, and let him go have fun. She has two adorable rambunctious boys, and she’s a nurse, and I knew she could handle my son, even if things didn’t go well.

Of course, I had nothing to fear. They returned about an hour later, all smiles. She commented on how my son just laughed the whole time. He was in a silly mood I guess, and laughed at anything they said to him. They all got laughing at that, and they were all in a fit of giggles. He has such a contagious laugh. It was so good to see. I was thrilled to see him get a brief respite from the quiet hospital lobby, and have some fun with other kids. It did my heart good, and I thanked the ex-neighbor for being so thoughtful.

And I got some sleep last night, too! So the day started badly, with lots of bad news, and MIL telling everyone she was going to die, but it really turned around at the end.

The day ended with sleep, and giggles, and more sleep.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~Doug Larson

MIL is convinced it’s the end and she’s scaring the begeebees out of her kids. I called her pastor to come talk to her. Hope that helps her.

Dialysis starts today.